My First Serodiscordant Relationship a Year Later
Here is what I have learned after a year of being in a serodiscordant relationship…
- I have found the most amazing partner and I love him more and more with each passing day.
- HIV can not be a factor that stops you from searching for and finding love.
- There are going to be challenges, but there are those with any type of relationship.
- People are more understanding, you just have to give them a chance.
- You can keep your partner safe through education.
I will admit, when I first started dating my partner who is HIV negative, I was scared to death. You may remember my post “My First Serodiscordant Relationship” and how I took my partner to see my Infectious Disease Doctor and all that. Here here is what has happened since…
We decided to get a place together in July of 2016. It was a huge adjustment for me especially because I was so used to doing things on my own and having “my” space. We now share an apartment with his brother. My partner and I have together adopted our “daughter” Lulu. Lulu is a three year old Chiwennie who demands on sleeping between us snuggled up under the covers each night.
Still in the back of my mind was the fear of infecting him with HIV if we were to slip up or if something were to happen. It is still something I think about on a regular basis but with the news this year that “undetectable equals uninfectious” has eased some of that burden on my mind. While I know scientific facts back it up, it still has not erased all of the fear from my mind. We have both become better educated and still know that regular testing is the only way of knowing 100%.
He has taught me thought that I am able to still love myself after HIV and that I am worthy of love from others. On February 8th of this year we celebrated our one year anniversary since we made it “official”. A lot has changed in this past year and I am thankful everyday that I have him by my side.
A big challenge for me after we started dating was how to introduce him to my parents and the rest of my family. I had never brought a guy home before and this worried me to death because I was raised in a typical southern household. His parents were more than accepting and actually love me (at least I think so). Well bringing him home, I introduced him to my mom first and she was a little taken back but soon warmed up. My father was a different story. I started bringing him over more and more and finally I guess my dad put two and two together lol. It was still kind of awkward but my family has warmed up and now thinks of him as part of the family. Last to know was my Nana who has supported me since I told her my HIV status but I was still scared to death to tell her. I finally called her one night after we had been living together and told her. She point blank said “I may not understand it, but if you are happy, than I am happy”. That was all it took. We split the holidays up between our two families and I will say mine has made a point of wanting to include him.
While a year long relationship may not seem that important to many but for me this is a huge milestone being that I never thought I would actually find someone who could love me and see beyond my HIV status. I can truly say that I am blessed beyond belief and happier than I have been in a very long time.
Thank you my love for all that you do and being the most amazing man I’ve ever met. I am blessed that I have you in my life and I can not wait to see what the future has in store for us.